Intentionality

I've been practicing acting with intent for a while now. I think we, as human beings, are naturally prone to turning off our heads and giving control to routines.

In my case, this behavior is mostly a coping mechanism. For example, I just let go and entrust my body to routines when I am overwhelmed by responsibilities. It feels like a sacrifice, an equilibrium. I let go of my intentionality and in return, skip over parts of my life that I don't want to deal with.

But this has started to bother me. I've been getting headaches over gone by moments. Time is starting to feel like a lump of sand that I've been desperately trying to hold onto. This has slowly been cracking me like a mud teapot that's been neglected. And rather than mending, I've just been taping over the cracks. And my tape of choice has also been letting myself fall into routines.

Like I said, I've been practicing acting with intent for a while. I've been taking things slowly and think before I act. Stop and ask. Look inside and see. Of course, there are times when I fall into old habits, but it is a journey, and that's what a journey is.

I think this is why I've been so into photography, capturing an otherwise fleeting moment and halting it forever. Feels good to visit old memories that you might otherwise have a problem recalling. I also started journaling. I think writing is the most important form of intentional expression, and intentional expression is as essential as eating or breathing for a soul. That's why I've been trying to write more.

Writing helps me see the big picture and understand myself better. For the last couple of months, I've been writing poems and journals. But I am not the kind of person who can write only for himself. That's why I've been wanting to write more blog posts.

To reflect upon the past a bit, my blogging journey started with writing technical posts. Mostly about Emacs and everyday tools, and when I wrote everything I wanted to write, it evolved into personal philosophical pieces. I am really happy with this change. Because I love writing about my thoughts, opinions, my reasons for living, and my general philosophy.

I hope I can continue my pursuit of intentionality and I hope I can give the love my blog deserves to have. As it marked the beginning of a whole new chapter of my life.